The Day The Music Died
by This Calls For More Glitter
Summary: June 11th, 2012: Finn and Kurt found the body. It was sprawled out in the locker room showers, with a stack of DVDS, all marked 1 from 13 in nail polish, and a simple note on top, next to her. Rachel Barbra Berry was dead. This, is why she killed herself.
1. Prologue: The Body

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or Thirteen Reasons Why.

Author's Note: So…I've never actually read Thirteen Reasons Why (yet) but I really want to and I was exposed to this idea. I came up with my own thirteen reasons and my own plots. This obviously won't be exactly like Thirteen Reasons Why, since I've never read it all the way through, but it is loosely based off of it. –Jackie

Prologue: The Body

June 11th, 2012

Graduation day. It was supposed to be a special day for everyone at McKinley High. And it was, for all the wrong reasons. That day, two suicides were committed.

It was really the night before graduation day that Finn and Kurt found the body. It was sprawled in the locker room showers, the brown hair spread out like a fan, the breathing stopped. The dead girl had a bottle of painkillers in her hands, empty. And next to her was a stack of DVDS, all marked from 1 to 13 in nail polish, with a simple note on the top:

_Why I Killed Myself_

Rachel Berry was dead.

Author's Note (again): Sorry for being so short, but I didn't want to ramble to much. Next chapter is reason one!


	2. Watching The DVD's

**Author's Note: Guess what book I bought last night at the book store? Thirteen Reasons Why! Yay me! PS: In this Santana, Brittany and Mercedes are back in New Directions, because I wanted them to be there for this. OK?**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, people! Nothing!**

_Reason One: Part One_

Before dawn the next morning police had swarmed the scene, asking everyone questions about Rachel and what her body had looked like. Then, they took it away. They took Rachel Berry's body to be buried. She was really gone, she was really dead.

Finn and Kurt would've given them the DVDS too, but when they went to retrieve them they had disappeared. However, when the glee club held an emergency meeting in the choir room an hour later, there were to be no classes today since it was graduation, the DVDS were on the piano, another note next to it:

_13 Reasons Why Rachel Barbra Berry Killed Herself Mailing List_

And below that was a list of names. New Directions was first on the list.

In very small lettering at the bottom of the page were two words.

_Play Me_

It was all in Rachel's neat, precise handwriting. Well, what had been Rachel's handwriting. Before she passed.

At first none of the sobbing glee club members noticed the package of DVDS, until Mr. Schue spotted it and picked it up cautiously..

"What's this?" He had muttered. Finn and Kurt immediately recognized it as the box that had been next to Rachel's body. The identification just made everyone cry harder.

"Should we play it?"

Everyone suddenly looked at Mr. Schue, who had taken the DVD marked "1" and walked over to his DVD player.

"No," Quinn answered immediately. "I don't want to watch this, Rachel hasn't even been dead for a day." She flinched slightly when she said 'Rachel'.

"I think we should,"

Everyone turned to Finn as he spoke.

"And I agree," Kurt added, meeting the wet eyes of the glee club. "Rachel obviously left these for us."

"Well _she_ didn't leave them here!" Quinn snapped, a reaction that earned her a few stares. "She's dead!"

There was a brief silence, before Tina spoke. "But maybe she sent someone to leave them here…"

"Whoever would do such a thing is a sick person!" Quinn replied before doing an bad Rachel impression. "Hey, guess what? I'm going to kill myself soon so will you make sure my friends in glee club get these tapes? Thanks!" She rolled her eyes and went back to her normal voice. "That's impossible!"

"Well, what if the person Rachel entrusted the DVDS to didn't know about them until after she died," Puck mumbled.

Quinn shrugged. "Well, I still think this is creepy."

"Rachel wanted you to watch these Quinn," Finn said to her. "It was sort of like, her last request. Can't you respect that?"

Finally, Quinn let out a small sigh. "Fine. Play the thing."

Mr. Schue opened his DVD player, letting out a little moan himself. The New Directions members stared at him with wide, wet eyes as he placed the DVD in. The machine pulled it in and the sound of the disk spinning could be heard throughout the silent room. And then, with tears in his eyes, Mr. Schue pressed 'play'.


	3. Reason One

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. **

**Author's Note: I'm really happy with all the reviews I've been getting, and so I decided to put you out of your misery and write another chapter. I'm happy to say I've finished Thirteen Reasons Why, and it was amazing! If you hadn't read it, you really should. Also, please keep it up with the reviews. **

_Reason One: Part Two_

The glee club let out a few startled gasps as the face of Rachel Berry appeared on the screen. She smiled coyly and gave a little wave.

_Hello. It's me, Rachel Barbra Berry. I'd say live and in video, but, if you're watching this, it means I've killed myself. So, technically I'm not alive to you._

As everyone listened to her talk, the whole choir room fell silent. Even the people who had never been close to Rachel Berry were in complete and utter shock at hearing her voice again. Because they knew she was gone, they knew she could never come back.

Because Rachel had killed herself.

_If you're watching these little DVD's of mine, it means you're one of the reasons why I did what I did. And I promise, your name will pop up on here eventually. I swear. Cross my heart and hope to die! Why would I lie to you? Everything I've done is done, so why should it remain a secret? You people deserve to know. You should know what you did. So I'll tell you._

The members of New Directions looked at each other.

"What did we do?" Mercedes mouthed and Kurt shushed her.

_The rules are easy. Rule number one: you listen to these DVD's. I took so much time to make them for you! And two: you pass them on. Enclosed is a mailing list. Find your name, or names, and send them to whoever is on the list after you. But, don't cheat. Don't read the list until after you've watched these DVD's, or else you'll know all of my reasons. I want you to be surprised!_

_Oh, and lucky number thirteen? You can take these DVD's straight to Hell. Maybe I'll see you there._

On the DVD, Rachel winked. A few Glee kids shuddered, some gasped and some just kept watching. Were they number thirteen? Did Rachel want them to take the DVD's to Hell?

_And here's a tip: don't break the rules. I have a second copy of these DVD's you see, and I entrusted a certain someone with them, my DVD keeper you could say. If these tapes don't get passed on, they will be released in a very public manner._

_I will have them played for the entire school. _

Everyone looked at each other.

"What?" Mr. Schue muttered to himself.

"No way," Mike breathed, holding onto Tina's hand a little tighter.

"Freaky," she added.

_You've been warned._

_This first DVD belongs to Mr. Jesse St. James. Are you ready, honey?_

Jesse St. James. Rachel's ex-boyfriend. The one who had pressured her into having sex. The one who only went out with her because his glee club coach, and Rachel's birth mother, had told him to. The one who cracked an egg over Rachel's head. The one who had begged for forgiveness and never gotten it.

Now New Directions hated him ten times more. He was one of Rachel's reasons. Maybe if he hadn't done whatever he did, she'd still be with them.

Well…probably not.

_Jesse, you were my first real love, or at least my first crush. I don't know if you other people watching know this, but in middle school, before Jesse transferred to Carmel, I was a sixth grader and he were in eighth. Sometimes I'd follow you around Jesse, sometimes I'd write about you in my journal, or dedicate one of my MySpace videos to you. I even made a photocopy of your schedule so I could try to talk to you. Jesse, I was enthralled by you._

Rachel had been known for acting crazy when she had a crush. The glee club members had seen it firsthand. But, the way Rachel talked about Jesse on this DVD, made them all nervous. What did he do to Rachel, long before any of them were around to save her?

_When you finish my DVD's Jesse, I hope you realize how you played a role in my life, and more importantly, in my death. You're role may feel small now, but trust me. It's not. Did you know what you were doing to me? Honestly, I don't think so. I think most of you don't even realize how bad you were. Hopefully, now you will._

_Everyday Jesse, I would say 'hi' to you and eventually you said it back. So, one day, I walked by you, and said nothing at all._

"_Aren't you going to say 'hi'?" You asked. _

_I turned around and smiled at you. "Why would I?" I demanded. _

"_Because you always do!" Was your reply. _

_Eventually, me playing hard to get drove you crazy. One day, you asked me for my number. And I gave it to you. _

_You called me later that night. When Daddy asked who you were as I went to answer it, I said we were working together on a project. He said you told him the same thing. _

_Jesse, you lied to my dad's. _

_But I really didn't care. _

_I told him it was a social studies project, and apparently that's exactly what you told Daddy. So he believed me and left me alone, to talk to you in peace so we could discuss our project. _

DVD Rachel made air quotes around 'project'.

_You asked me if we could meet behind the McKinley Middle School auditorium, and I said yes. Then, after I hung up, I ran to my room and sprayed on myself about a gallon of perfume. _

_I know, you think I'm a whore. But I'm really not. _

_Wait…you think I__** was**__. Cause, remember, I'm dead. Oh silly me!_

DVD Rachel pretended to laugh and toyed with a strand of her brown hair.

But Rachel was wrong. Not a single person in the room was thinking about her that way.

_Anyway, that night I waited for you behind the school. After what seemed like hours, you finally came. You looked stunning, absolutely gorgeous. _

_And…we kissed. It was a lovely first kiss, breath taking. You didn't shove your tongue in my mouth or touch me in places I don't like being touched, and after it was over, you just held me romantically before we left. And that's all that happened. _

_We…just…kissed!_

The New Directions members looked around the room, remembering the stories they had heard when they were in middle school after how Rachel Berry had gotten her first kiss.

They had been nothing like this.

_At first, all was well. Until you, my dear Jesse, started to brag. _

_You said the whole thing was erotic and that I had wanted more, than I had nearly ripped your clothes off. _

Come on Jesse, what sixth grade girl does _**that**_?

_Eventually, your name was dropped out of the story. That little tale of yours was no longer about how lucky you were, it was about what a big slut I was. Of course, none of it was true. I wasn't a slut, just a poor little girl, in love with you. _

_So, you bragged for nothing St. Jackass. _

A few glee club members snickered before turning their attention back to the DVD.

_My reputation was in shambles for the rest of my sixth grade year. It took me a long time to rebuild it, but people still hated me after that. It was after your lies I was slushied for the first time. Some hockey players from the high school got me on my way home. Jesse, how many people did you tell, exactly? _

DVD Rachel raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

_You're on this DVD because, although the kiss itself was wonderful, the memories I have of it are not. Now, it is hard to tell the fact from the fiction. But now, everyone watching this, knows that I didn't want to have sex with you. I didn't want anything more than a little kiss. Is that so wrong? _

_I don't think so. Do you think so, Jesse?_

_Stick around everyone, you too Jesse. This is only the beginning of my tale of woe. _

_Ta-ta for now. _

Rachel's beautiful face faded from the screen, static took its place. Mr. Schue held his finger above the 'eject' button, as if waiting for something else to come. But when it didn't, he pressed the button and Finn handed him the next DVD with a shaky hand.

Mr. Schue scanned the room. Although the glee club members were shaken, they (well, most of them) encouraged him to go on.

He sighed. "Next DVD,"


	4. Reason Two

**Disclaimer: Do not own Glee, do not own Thirteen Reasons Why. I am not Ryan Murphy or Jay Asher, I'm just plain old Jackie, major Gleek and aspiring fan fiction writer. **

**Author's Note: This is definitely my most popular story yet and I am very excited! Thank you all for your reviews! It's great to know people enjoy my work. So, thanks. **

_Reason Two_

When the DVD turned on, the camera was pointing at a one of the walls in Rachel's room, well what had been Rachel's room at the time. In the background, someone was singing softly.

_I love him_

_But every day I'm learning_

_All my life I've only been pretending_

_Without me his world will go on turning_

_A world that's full of happiness_

_That I have never known!_

__

_I love him_

_I love him_

_I love him_

_But only on my own. _

The Glee members looked at each other. This was a voice they knew well.

"Rachel," Finn said quietly. "Rachel was singing." And at that moment, his heart was silently aching for the love of his life, the girl he had lost less than twenty-four hours ago.

Her voice brought back both happy and painful memories for everyone in that room. They had all heard her sing so many times, through thick and thin. No matter how crappy she felt, Rachel Berry never turned down a chance to put on a show. She had had that flair for drama, which was perhaps one of the reasons she had made her exit from Earth so dramatic. It was like her final performance and these DVD's were her encore.

Rachel suddenly appeared on the screen and she smiled brightly at the camera lens.

_Hello. I'm glad to see you've stuck around for DVD number two. I also hope you've enjoyed my musical styling's. If I'm in a good mood, well a good mood for me, I'll sing for you again. That was "On My Own" from the Broadway classic __Les Misérables__. It really expresses how I feel right now. Sometimes I feel alone, just like Éponine. And, just like her, I will leave this planet in a very theatrical way. Maybe then you'll realize how much you'll miss me. Or maybe not…_

The New Directions members frowned, wondering if Rachel had really felt so alone in her last days. The thought made them upset, they felt like they had failed her.

_But enough of that! So, if you're still watching this, it means you are either A) a very curious Jesse who wanted to see some more, or B) someone on my list who is anxiously awaiting their name to come up, wondering how they betrayed me. _

_Sam Evans, this DVD belongs to you. _

Now the glee club was very confused.

"Sam?" Kurt gasped.

"What did Sam do to Rachel?" Mike added.

Well, they were about to find out.

_Sammy, I bet you have no clue why you're on my list. You think you did a good thing! _

_You made a list of Sexiest Chicks in the McKinley High Glee Club. And you put me at number one._

A few of the girls in the room blushed.

"I was number two," Quinn whispered.

Santana sighed. "I was four,"

"How come we never knew about the list?" Blaine asked, holding Kurt's hand a little tighter.

Santana shrugged, and everyone turned back to the monitor, where Rachel was still talking.

_You probably think I should be honored! You think I'm the prettiest girl in glee club!_

_But I'm not. Listen here, Sam. _

Rachel's smile had faded, and she was now glaring at the camera, arms crossed over her chest, her head cocked off to the side.

_First, if you think I'm being stupid and ungrateful, if you think this is unfair, you can just stop watching this. _

_Well, sure, if you do the second set will be released for all and everyone's secrets will be exposed, not just yours. So, I'd keep watching if I were you. But hey! Other than that, I have nothing on you, Sam! What've you got to lose?_

Rachel laughed.

_Oh, that's right. A lot! I know a lot of people would be pissed if their secrets got out. _

_Sam, honey, they're all depending on you!_

_So, let's begin. _

Mr. Schue reached over for the remote. For a minute, everyone thought he was going to turn it off, but he didn't.

He turned the volume up, all the way, until Rachel's voice filled the entire room. And then he just sat down at the piano, looking grave. Like he was about to cry or scream or faint, something. But, no reaction came. Mr. Schue just kept watching, stunned.

_That morning, in homeroom, lots of people were staring at me. I asked Jacob Ben Israel to tell me what was going on…after some random guy tried to touch my butt. _

Rachel rolled her eyes and Finn breathed slowly, his hands balling into fists. Tina patted him on the shoulder.

"It's okay," She mumbled, and he tried to relax.

How could people have treated Rachel so badly? How couldn't she have told him what was going on?

_Jacob showed me a copy of the list on his blog. Of course, I was furious. _

_But, here's something else. Very last on that list was, guess who? Who did Sam think was the least sexy girl in Glee? Get ready…_

Rachel paused, most likely for dramatic effect. Rachel had been a drama queen in her short lifetime.

_Miss Mercedes Jones. _

Everyone turned to look at Mercedes, who put her head down. She sniffled sadly.

"Just watch the stupid DVD!" She snapped. "I'll be fine."

_Mercedes was glaring at me throughout the entire first period. If looks could kill, she would've murdered me that day. _

_Now, you select few who caught a glimpse of that list probably didn't think it was a big deal Mercedes was last. I doubt you thought anything of it. I don't think anyone cared. _

_Well, I care. And I know you do, Sam. Obviously, Mercedes does too. Of course. _

Nobody noticed, as Mercedes had told them to look away, but the girl was now on the verge of tears.

She had hated it when Sam made that list. And she hated that he had thought she was ugly. She hated the fact that he thought Rachel was the prettiest. Mercedes had wanted to be as perfect as Rachel Berry.

But, maybe Rachel Berry wasn't so perfect after all.

_I don't think you picked me just because you thought I was good-looking. Because, if you really liked me, you would've just asked me out. At the time, it was just after Regionals, and I was single. Sure, you were with Santana, but I know you didn't love her._

_It was the week of the benefit concert, the one where Mercedes sang her solo. And may I say Mercedes, you were fabulous! Brava, brava! _

Rachel clapped politely before going back to her story.

_See, Sam, I think you wanted revenge. But, I'm not going to tell you everything now. That will be a later DVD! _

_You needed a name to put at number one, someone who you knew would bother Mercedes. Someone who would make her super angry, and yet didn't have a flawless reputation. So, when you heard about my first kiss, you thought that I was perfect. Seemingly-perfect Rachel Berry, who wasn't as faultless as everyone thought. Once again, thanks Jesse!_

Sam's list had been a joke. He hadn't known it would affect Rachel like it did. He hadn't thought she'd be so hurt.

Had he?

_I survived the day, I made it. But people treated me differently. You decided to show a few jocks your list, and they…well, you know. Flirted. Tried to touch me. Called me names like "Sugar" and "Slut". I think one of the reasons you moved was to get away from me and all the other bad things you did. _

_This world is full of sick people, Sam. I can't say if you're one of them or not. I never really got a chance to analyze your character. But, just remember, in case you ever do something like this again, that when you ridicule someone you have to deal with the consequences. You held Mercedes up for ridicule, and now you have to deal with the snowball effect you've caused. It's your fault, and no one else's. The list was your decision, and I couldn't do anything about it. It's not my fault you thought I was sexy!_

Rachel rolled her eyes.

_So Sam, your little joke quickly got out of control. Onto the next DVD. _

"Mercedes…" Kurt began, but she silenced him by holding her finger up.

"I don't want to talk about it!" She said.

"Too bad," Finn began, pointing towards the screen.

_Mercedes, you're next. _

"You have some explaining to do, sooner or later."


	5. Reason Three

**Disclaimer: No poseo nada! That's Spanish for 'I own nothing!' (Well, that might be wrong I just used Bing Translator)**

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews! Keep it up! **

_Reason Three_

By the time the glee club reached DVD three, it was around six in the morning and the sun had just started its slow ascent to the top of the sky. The DVD player started up for the third time.

Rachel was singing again. She was sitting in a large, fluffy, pink chair, the chair that sat in the corner of her old bedroom. At first she was simply humming, but as the song progressed she started to whisper the lyrics, her voice getting louder and louder, and more beautiful.

_Oh, it ain't no way _

_I tell you that it ain't no way _

_It ain't no way, it ain't no way baby, no _

_It just ain't no way _

_It sho' ain't no way _

_It ain't no way for me to love you _

_If you won't let me _

No way, if you won't let me

_Ain't no way_

Rachel cleared her throat and stopped singing.

_Hello. I found it fitting to sing that song, as it was the song sung at the Night of Neglect benefit concert by the person this DVD revolves around, which took place the same week Sam Evans released the list ranking Glee's girls where I was number one, and Mercedes Jones was last. _

_The summer before freshman year, Ms. Pillsbury introduced me and Mercedes at orientation. At first we were resistant, Mercedes called me "Raquel" several times instead of "Rachel", but we actually kind of got along…well, sort of. Come December, we started going to Breadstix together after school, we'd get some iced teas and split a plate of appetizers, maybe a dessert. Remember those days Mercedes? When we used to be BFF's?_

Everyone in the room found what was being described to them hard to picture. But for Mercedes, the memories were flashing back to her in her mind, kind of like some super weird montage of friendship. It seemed like such a long time ago, a whole other lifetime.

_One day, the summer before our junior years, Mercedes leaned across the table at Breadstix and whispered to me "I think that guy's checking you out." _

_Guess who was looking at us? Mr. Sam Evans, in the flesh!_

A few of New Directions members sighed. Finn rolled his eyes and Tina patted his arm again, trying her best to comfort him. Of course Sam came back into the pictures.

_I had been watching him too. "I think he's checking __**you**__ out!" Of course, I wanted that to be true, as you all know I was taken at them time. Mercedes was very blunt, so looked right at Sam and said: "Excuse me, but we want to know which one of us you were staring at." _

_Poor Sam blushed so hard his entire face turned bright red. _

"_Don't lie, White Boy," Mercedes continued. "Which one of us were you checking out?" _

Now, that sounded like Mercedes.

_At that moment I was so thankful that Mercedes was my friend. Miss Jones, you are the most outgoing, honest, fun diva I've ever met. Or, at least she was. So, thanks Ms. P. _

_Sam replied that he was new to town, and just wanted to make some friends. Being the nice girls we are, we invited Sam to sit with us. We talked for hours right there in that booth at Breadstix._

_But, I never really considered Mercedes or Sam my friends. I don't think they did either. We always talked about who we used to be friends with, why they were our friends, and what we were looking for in new ones. Even though we weren't really friends, we had fun those first few weeks, sitting in our booth at Breadstix, the big one in the back with mirrors on the back of the seats and the circular tabletop. Mercedes and I would always drink iced teas and eat about a dozen breadsticks, and Sam eventually made his way through the entire menu. Whenever one of us had a bad day, we'd met there. _

_It didn't last._

_Soon, Sam stopped coming. We were nice when we ran into each other in the halls and talked a little at glee club, but it didn't really go beyond that. Well, for me. Did any of you know Sam and Mercedes had a brief summer fling, two actually? One before junior year, and one after. The one before junior year ended sometime that September, when exactly I do not know. I wasn't aware until after they broke up, around the same time Sam stopped coming. _

The New Directions members turned towards Mercedes, who looked a little embarrassed.

"You and Sam?" Quinn asked.

Mercedes groaned. "Just shut up and watch."

That got everyone to back off.

_After another week, Mercedes stopped going. I went to Breadstix myself a few times. I'd sit in our booth and order an iced tea, hoping one of them might stumble in and see me. _

_That didn't happen. _

Suddenly, the DVD paused. Mr. Schue pressed the eject button and took the DVD out.

"What are you doing?" Santana demanded.

Mr. Schue picked up his portable DVD player. "We're going to Breadstix."

"No way," Mercedes thought, shaking her head back and forth.

"We'll sit in Mercedes, Sam and Rachel's booth," their teacher continued. "And we'll order a round of iced teas and breadsticks, in honor of Rachel. And we'll watch the rest of the DVD there."

"No," Mercedes said out loud.

"Sorry Cedes," Brittany shrugged. "You're out voted."

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later, New Directions was crowded into the booth at Breadstix Rachel had mentioned. They were drinking the iced teas their waiter had brought them and munching on some breadsticks. Mr. Schue pulled out his DVD player and started the disk from where they left off. He turned the volume down, so only the group at the table could hear.<p>

_The week of the benefit, you walked up to me when I was at my locker. "We need to talk," you said. I knew you were talking about Breadstix. After my last class I met you there. Before we could even order our drinks, you slid a piece of paper across the table and over to me. I didn't even need to look at it to know what it was. It was Sam's list: The Sexiest Chicks in McKinley High Glee Club. The list where I was ranked number one, and you were ranked last. _

"_Who cares?" I lied. "It's just a stupid list made by stupid Sam!" _

"_Sam's not stupid," You growled. "Rachel, I don't care that he picked you over me." _

"_He didn't chose me," I answered. "He's still in love with you and wanted to get back at you. He knew my name would hurt you more than any other. Cause he remembers the memories we had here." _

_Mercedes, you just closed your eyes and said my name. "Rachel," _

On the DVD, Rachel did her best imitation of Mercedes, letting out a dramatic sigh.

"_Oh Rachel, Rachel…" You told me you'd heard the rumors. You said you never thought they were true, but now you weren't so sure. _

_I told you I hadn't been with Sam. But you refused to listen. Mercedes, it was easier for you to believe that I was really a bad person, a teenage slut, than the girl you'd gotten to know. For you, these lies just had to be true. You tried to have it make sense. _

_I told you that it wasn't true, and I told you I knew all about your relationship with Sam. I assured Mercedes that Sam had been looking at her that first day, not me. But, thinking it might make her feel better, I accepted the blame for their break-up._

_Well, I suppose the last part was all Mercedes heard, or believed. _

_She took my hand, and she scratched me. I still have a little scar on my right thumb from that day. Thanks Mercedes!_

Mercedes took her straw and tried to sink her lemon wedge in her iced tea. Her so-called friends at the table were now looking at her, some were glaring and some had sympthay in their gazes.

_You called me the 'biggest sexpot you'd ever seen in your entire life.' Your words, Mercedes, not mine. _

_Every day, I see that scar and I think of how you and I could've been friends. It just got worse this year, when we both wanted the part of Maria in __West Side Story__. You hated me ten times more than before, you and Sam had just broken up for the second time and he had moved to Tennessee. _

_After you, Santana and Brittany returned from The Troubletones after Sectionals, you became the new glee club diva. You came back and shoved your newfound popularity down my throat. Every day, I look at that scar, and think of you. _

_Mercedes, do you realize now the scar you left on my life? Sam, if you're still watching, do you realize why I say you were so revenge crazy? Trust me people, revenge never goes well. It always crumbles right before your eyes. _

_Just use Samcedes as an example. _

As soon as the DVD was over, Mercedes jumped right out of her seat.

"I have to go," She gasped.

"No, you can't!" Tina said.

"Yes, I can." Mercedes replied, grabbing her jacket. "I saw my DVD, so I'm free to go. And that is exactly what I plan to do." She nodded her head to the glee club cordially. "Goodbye guys. See you at graduation."

Mercedes left the restaurant quickly, not looking back once. She left behind her an awkward tension, her abandoned iced tea, and lots of unanswered questions.


	6. Reason Four

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**Author's Note: Once again, thanks for all the reviews! However, there is a difference between constructive criticism and bashing. It will get better, trust me, so just wait and don't be mean. But, 99% of these reviews are phenomenal, so thank you guys! Keep reading, reviewing and favoriting! **

_Reason Four_

For a moment after Mercedes stormed out, the glee club just sat at the table in silence. The waitress, a young girl who looked to be in her early twenties with bags under her eyes, walked back over. It was now almost eight and the restaurant was completely deserted.

"Can I get you anything else?" she asked.

"No thank you," Mr. Schue mumbled in reply. "We'll take the check."

The waitress nodded and walked away with all of their empty glasses, as well as Mercedes's full one.

"This has been…interesting." Puck said, running his hands through his Mohawk and suppressing a yawn.

"Should we stop?" asked a tired Rory. Back home in Ireland, nothing like this ever happened. America was nothing like his brochure…

"Yes!" Quinn grunted at the same time Finn and Kurt said "No!" Mr. Schue reached for the package of DVD's. They'd learned so many things about Rachel so far that they had never known, what else was in store for them? He pulled out the next DVD, marked in the corner with a small nail polish "4". The teacher opened the player and swapped DVD "3" for this one. The player buzzed and the group of kids crowded around so they could see the screen.

At first they heard nothing, but slowly the screen flooded with light. Rachel plopped down in front of the camera. It must've been night when she filmed it, as she was wearing her favorite pair of pajamas and had her brown hair up in pigtails.

_Hi everyone. I see you've decided to stick around for more. Of course, if you're Jesse, Sam or Mercedes you don't have to listen, but I'd imagine you're interested in my little DVD's. I bet they fascinate you. Don't people just love finding out dirt about people? Well, here's a little secret. You guys remember Matt Rutherford? _

"Matt Rutherford?" Mr. Schue whispered.

"Who's Matt Rutherford?" Blaine asked.

"Some guy that used to go to our school, but he transferred." Kurt explained.

Santana cut in. "I used to date him,"

"Of course," said Rory to himself. "Santana's sure dated a lot of lads, hasn't she?"

_Did you know Matt Rutherford used to have a crush on me? _

Mr. Schue paused the DVD as their waitress came back with the check. "I'll take it whenever you're ready," She said before walking away. There still was only one other group in Breadstix, and so Mr. Schue tried to count his money as slowly as possible so they'd have an excuse to stay at Rachel's booth. While reaching for his wallet, the older man used his free hand to press 'play'.

_What? You don't believe me? Well, you should. I mean, how well did you know Matt Rutherford? Even Santana didn't know him as well as she thinks she did. Matt, baby, mind if I tell the folks at home about your interest in me, Miss Rachel Barbra Berry? Well, like it or not, I'm telling them, so suck it up. _

_Matt, I remember when we first met. It was on the first day of fifth grade, before Jesse gave me my reputation. You and I were kind of friends, up until the next year. After my kiss with Jesse, I completely ignored you. I was afraid you were going to judge me, just like everyone else had. And, well, you kind of did. You started getting a lot more personal. You figured I wouldn't mind, because Jesse made you think I was some kind of promiscuous sexpot. _

_I remember in ninth grade science class, I was paired up with you for a big project. So, you asked me to come over to your house. I agreed, you all know I was so obsessed with my grades before my life became living Hell. _

"When is she going to mention us?" Quinn complained. "I can't stay here all day you know. I have to prepare for graduation."

"Just wait," Brittany mumbled from her left side and Santana playfully hit her in the arm on the right.

"This is just getting interesting," the Latina added, placing her arm in front of the blonde to prevent her from leaving. "And if you don't watch your DVD, then all of the DVD's will go out. Poor Matt's secrets will be revealed and yours as well."

Quinn sighed and nodded. Santana reluctantly retracted her arm.

_When I went over, you took me up to your room. (By the way Matt, nice comic book collection.)_

_I was surprised to see a lot of pictures on your walls, turns out you were a photography enthusiast. About twenty minutes into our brain storming, your mom said she needed you. So, you left me alone in your room and told me to make myself at home. I started to admire your photos. Want to know what I found? _

_I found a scrapbook. It was sprayed in your dad's cologne, and it had a few heart stickers on the leather cover. Guess what was in there? Pictures of yours truly! You think I'd be flattered, but those pictures were of me in…compromising positions. _

_They were all of me in my bedroom. There was one of me brushing my hair. One of me singing into a hairbrush. One of me dancing around my room to my iPod. And, to my horror, there were even of couple where I wore nothing more than a pair of cotton panties and a bra. _

_You stood outside my window, and took pictures of me from behind the hedge. _

"Wait, what?" Tina gasped.

"Matt was a Peeping Tom?" Mike said. "I thought that guy was my friend!"

"If I ever see Rutherford again, I will kick his ass!" Puck interrupted.

Finn nodded in agreement. "I'll help you,"

"Guys!" Mr. Schue mumbled. "Let's not threaten Matt's life, okay?" But secretly, on the inside, Mr. Schue was just as angry and shocked as the rest of them. Matt had seemed like such a nice kid…

On the DVD, Rachel was crying.

_I dropped that book and ran out of the room. I ran into you on the way down, and you asked me what was wrong. I couldn't formulate any words, so I just dashed past you, past your surprised mom, and ran all the way home. I cried the whole way. When I came into school on Monday, I found out you had gotten our teacher to reassign us new partners. And we never spoke again, not even when you joined glee club. I refused to speak to you. The one time you tried to talk to me, I pushed you to the ground and ran away. You were so humiliated, I almost felt sorry for you. Now you know why Matt was so quiet in Glee, because of our complicated history. _

_But I wonder Matt, did you join Glee because Noah told you to, or did you do it because you wanted to win me back? I guess we'll never know! Have you learned something new about Matt Rutherford today? I bet you have!_

_Matt, you took away my feeling of security. I never felt safe in my room again, I always drew the blinds, and for the rest of our time together, I hated you with a passion. I tried to be good at concealing it, but now the charade is up. Everyone on my list knows about you now. _

_Can you people watching do me a favor? I want you to go to that parking lot down the block from my house, what was my house when I was alive. Park in the far end of the parking lot, on the east side. Look at the fifth house down, and find the second story window on the side of that house. There should be a row of neatly trimmed hedges below that window, lining that house's backyard. That is the window to my bedroom. I want you to imagine what Matt must've looked like with his camera as he tried to take pictures of me. Now you know why Matt Rutherford is the fourth reason why I took my life. Now, onto reason five, which might surprise just a tiny bit. _

Rachel's tears had now dried and she waved goodbye to the camera.

_Goodnight everyone! I need to get my sleep. Tomorrow, I'm going to be planning how I'm going to kill myself. I'll need my strength!_

The DVD stopped and Mr. Schue closed his DVD player, slapping his money on the table and rising slowly.

"Are we going to the parking lot?" Rory asked, jumping out of his seat.

Mr. Schue nodded. "Yeah. Any objections?"

This time, not even Quinn raised her hand. They simply got up and quickly followed Mr. Schue out. Rachel had asked them to go to the lot, and so that was exactly what they'd do. After all, Finn was right, this was her last request. And they were going to fulfill it, because they all owed Rachel that after the things they'd done, deliberately and involuntarily.


	7. Reason Five

**Disclaimer: I do not own. **

**Author's Note: Normally I don't write so fast, but I'm really enjoying writing this! It's so much fun and as of now I have 47 reviews (it might go up by the time I post this), 33 faves, and 66 alerts. You don't realize how happy that makes me! So keep it up! Reviews make me smile! **

_Reason Five_

At eight-thirty, Mr. Schue pulled into the parking lot on Rachel's street. The Glee kids were crowded into his car and the whole vehicle was stuffy from the people crammed in there, so the AC was on full blast.

"There it is," Mr. Schue pointed through the windshield across the empty lot, gesturing towards the hedge surrounded window at the fifth house down. "That's Rachel's bedroom window."

"I can't believe Matt was a Peeping Tom," Mike said. "He was such a nice guy,"

Quinn snorted. "He _**seemed **_like such a nice guy. He was really an ass."

"Yeah, but he was an ass in love." Tina added, staring at Rachel's window. "Love does crazy things to people,"

"That's no excuse!" Puck nearly shouted.

"You've done some pretty bad things to Rachel over the years," Santana snapped, flipping her glossy black hair.

"Well, so have you," Puck replied. "And I feel bad for them,"

Finn was about to open his mouth and ask Puck what he was talking about, but Rachel's voice came pouring out of the speakers before he could say anything. Mr. Schue had hooked up the DVD player to his car someone and had it perched awkwardly on his dashboard, but everyone could hear it clearly now from the front all the way to the third row of seats.

_Brittany S. Pierce. What a pretty name, and a very pretty girl._

Everyone looked at Brittany. So this DVD was about her?

"…Me?" The blonde mumbled feebly. "What did I do?"

Santana kissed her girlfriend on the cheek affectionately, trying her best to comfort Brittany. "It's okay. Let's just listen. Rachel wanted you to see this,"

Brittany nodded.

_And you're also very nice. And popular. Senior class president. Cheerio. You were even Homecoming Queen once, I believe. _

_Brittany is nice to everyone she meets, she's just…so…innocent. _

Rachel's face appears on the screen. This time she has bags under her pretty eyes and her hair is messy, her clothes wrinkled. There is a clock in the background which is flashing 3:34.

_But is it just a show? I think it might be. _

_Brittany, I don't think you do it on purpose. I think you can't help but be posed. Love ya Britt, but you're not the sharpest crayon in the box either. _

Brittany frowned. "Of course, I'm not a crayon! Duh!"

_This is why I put you on here. To let you know, you deserve that. Your actions affect people, and they affected me. _

_Brittany, I do not hate you. I kind of like you, actually. It's just that I used to think you and I were almost friends. _

_Right after I enlisted you to help me with my comeback, you forgot all about me again. You even forgot to say goodbye to me after our English class one day, when we had been talking. I don't know why that bothered me so much, it just seemed…more, intentional. Like you didn't even care if you said bye to me or not, like I would never be more than a glee club acquaintance to you. You didn't even acknowledge me, until the party._

_Now, I'll be talking about a different party later, so let's refer to this as The Party on Maple Street. It was at a hockey player's house, Rick The Stick's I think. _

_I was leaving my math class when you ran up to me. _

"_Rachel, hi!" You said perkily. "How are you?" _

_I don't remember what I said. Probably something like "Fine, yourself?" or "Good, thanks for asking." It doesn't matter what I said. _

_You asked me if I was going to Rick's party, and I said I wasn't planning on it. Then, you bat your eyelashes and touched my should sweetly. _

"_We should go together," you said. _

_Yes, Brittany was sort of flirting with me. _

Santana gave Brittany a look. "Berry, seriously? You flirted with Berry?"

Brittany shrugged. "Didn't you ever noticed how nice her butt was? Those animals sweaters were kind of hot, too."

Quinn pretended to gag.

_I asked you why. "Why should I go to a party with you?" _

_That took you by surprise. Everyone wanted to be seen going to a party with you, you were sweet to everyone and made out with everyone, I even walked in on you and the janitor playing with a rubber ducky in a closet when you should've been in Glee rehearsal. _

Brittany blushed. "That…um…wasn't me. It was my evil twin…uh…Whitney. Whitney Z. Pierce."

"_Because then we can hang out, Rachel!" You answered. "Don't you want to get to know each other better?"_

_I was suspicious, but I gave in. The first thing you said? "Great, can you drive?" _

_Whoever is listening to this, I want you to go to Brittany's house. Pull your car up to the curb, and sit there. Finish this DVD there and imagine that you're me, on the night of the party. _

Mr. Schue paused the DVD there. "Buckle your seatbelts guys and gals," He said. "Next stop, outside Brittany's house."

Mr. Schue pulled up outside Brittany's house fifteen minutes later. The Glee kids all shifted to one side of the car so they could look at the house. The Pierce home was a pretty white townhouse with green shutters and nicely trimmed hedges. They tried to picture what it looked like to Rachel the night of the party as Mr. Schue pressed 'play'.

_You skipped out of the house when I came to pick you up. In your pretty pink mini dress, I felt underdressed in my tunic and jeans. _

"_Thanks for the ride, Rachel," You said as you climbed into the car. _

_No 'hello', just 'thanks for the ride, Rachel'. _

_Your mom came to say hi, or perhaps make sure there weren't any boys or drugs in the car, and I said hello to Rory, who was standing in your front door, watching us leave. _

_I wanted to be wrong about you, Brittany. I wanted to be more than your chauffeur. So I drove you to Rick's and hoped we'd actually have some fun together. Let me say, the way that party ended was…interesting. Very interesting._

_We had to park a block away, and even from there we could hear the rap music coming from the party. You squealed. _

_There was over a dozen students flooding the street as they headed towards the party. When we finally reached the door, there were two hockey players standing there, selling beer. When they saw it was you, and they gave us the cups for free. One of them actually told to go hang out with him later. _

"_Don't go," You advised when we walked away. "Guy's an ass,"_

"Brittany, you and the hockey team?" Tina asked.

"Don't you think mullets are cute? They look like adorable little animals," Brittany replied.

_In less than a minute, you said we should split up, you had some people you needed to see. Wanna know what I was thinking? 'Gosh, that didn't take long!' So I lied and said I needed to talk to someone too. You told me not to leave without you, or else you'd have to walk home. Brittany, how could I forget? _

Rachel gave what looked like an eye roll.

_And then you said it, "Goodbye", as if you didn't expect to be talking to me again until you wanted to leave. _

_I spent half an hour wandering the party aimlessly. I saw a fistfight, disgusting, and a few make out sessions, also disgusting. Finally, I went out back towards the pool. I found Brittany sitting on a keg, talking to some boys and laughing. _

_Then, a very cute boy walked up to me. I didn't know him, he must've been on another school's hockey team. I had heard the team that beat our school at the championship might be there, so that's who I thought he was. He told Brittany had said I was fun to hang out with and sent him over. So, I relaxed a little. I thought Brittany felt bad. _

_Note, I said thought. _

_After the guy had drunk two more beers, he admitted that Brittany hadn't sent him over. _

"_I did hear her say that you were fun though," He gushed drunkenly. "And that you have naughty things in your drawers," _

"Brittany!" Mr. Schue gasped.

The blonde looked confused. "What?"

"You told everyone that Rachel had sex toys in her drawers?" Santana said.

"Oh, no!" Brittany answered. "I meant that she had Jewish stuff so Santa was going to put her on the naughty list for Christmas,"

"First off Britt, Santa isn't real," Kurt said. "And second, Rachel is Jewish, so she doesn't celebrate Christmas!"

Brittany sniffed in response. "Oh."

_I marched right over to Brittany and told her I was leaving. She begged me to stay, but I said no and I told her to find another ride. You and I never 'hung out' again, and I became sick of you, myself and this town. _

_Next DVD. _


	8. Reason Six

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**Author's Note: Don't stop…reviewing! LOL! I know, I'm lame. I should go to therapy :) Seriously though, keep reviewing! **

_Reason Six_

"I feel so bad," Brittany sobbed as the DVD stopped, leaning her head on Santana's shoulder. "I didn't think Rachel would care. And I didn't want to add to her reputation. I was supposed to help with her comeback, not destroy it!"

"It's okay Brittany," Finn said. "You didn't mean it. Rachel said she just wanted to show you what you were doing, okay?"

Brittany nodded. "I wish I could tell Rachel how sorry I am. I feel awful."

Santana kissed her temple soothingly and Quinn wrapped her arms around her friends.

"Play the next DVD, Mr. Schue," The blonde continued. "I can handle it,"

Mr. Schue did as Brittany asked.

_How many of you guys remember Cheerio's Matchmaking Service? _

Oh…the Glee kids remembered Cheerio's Matchmaking Service, at least the ones who were seniors did. During their freshman year, the cheerleaders sold surveys to raise money for Cheer Camp. They said that by filling out that one questionnaire, they'd find your perfect match for only a dollar per result.

_Every morning on the loudspeaker, one of the Cheerio's would announce how many more days were left to fill out your survey. Some freshmen would wheel a box around to the homerooms every day to collect completed ones. On Valentine's Day, everyone went into the main office to get their results. _

_Yes, I filled out a survey. I figured it might be fun. When I picked up my results, the cheerleader who gave them to me asked me who I got. I showed her my top five and she told me which ones she thought were good. I pointed at one name. _

"_What about him?" _

"_Trust me…he's not for you." She told me. "Trust me,"_

"_Well," I said. "I don't really know him and…"_

"_You don't want to," She said. "He's not a good choice for you. I mean, he's hot but…a player. He's never in a serious relationship for long, and I doubt he'd be interested in a girl like you. Sorry, but it's true." _

_I wish I had heeded her warning. But I didn't. In fact, the next day, the guy we'd been talking about came to talk to me. _

"_Rachel Berry," He said. "Hi," _

_I was surprised to find out that I was his number one. I bet you all want to know who I'm talking about, huh? Well, get ready for this. _

_Noah Puckerman. Hello Noah, baby. This DVD is all about you!_

A few people turned to look at Puck, who looked stunned. How long had he been like that? Santana hit him in the shoulder.

"Talk, Puckerman. What did you do?"

Puck didn't say anything. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Everyone crowded a little closer around the DVD player, watching Rachel tell her story with wide eyes. Only Puck remained in his seat because, of course, he knew the story. And he was sort of reliving it in his mind, right in the back of Mr. Schue's car. For the first time in his life, Noah Puckerman felt genuinely ashamed.

_Mr. Puckerman asked me to go with his to Breadstix for a little post-Valentine's Day date. I was a little hesitant, but once I looked into those eyes of his I couldn't say no. _

_Honestly, I really wish I had said no. _

_Apparently, Noah was very busy on the day of our date. He stumbled into Breadstix a full thirty minutes late. You said you assumed I didn't want to go out with you, you assumed it was just a joke ._

_You know what they say about assumptions, Noah? 'When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.' Get it? _

Rachel snickered.

_Well, I thought it was funny. _

_You sat down next to me in the booth, not across from me. You had picked one in the very back of the restaurant. After we'd been served our drinks, you reached over, and touched my knee. _

"_What're you doing, Noah?" I asked you, trying to scoot away, but I hit the wall and couldn't move. _

_You wrapped your arm around my back and held me against your chest. Your fingertips brushed up my leg until they were on my upper thigh, my inner upper thigh._

In the car, Santana whistled.

_I didn't want to scream, it wasn't that bad yet. I looked all around though, my eyes pleading for someone, anyone, to help me, but everyone whose gaze I caught just looked away. No one cared that I was being smothered under your body in the booth, attacked by your lips. _

"_Stop it," I said, gasping for breath as I pushed myself upward. "Stop it!" _

"_Don't worry," You replied. And you let your hands slip farther up and around, onto my butt. _

_So I grabbed you at your sides, and threw you right out of the booth. You landed on your back on the floor, you cringed. _

"_You're a tease, Rachel Berry!" You screamed, loud enough for everyone to hear. You swore under your breath and walked out as calmly as you could. _

Some of the Glee kids had heard about that event, they just hadn't known it was Rachel to throw Puck out of the booth. They thought it might've been an innocent girl who was too smart to fall for Puck's perverted sex games, or a cheerleader with a wicked sense of humor. Puck hardly even gave Rachel the time of day back then, so they never thought it might've been her.

_I wasn't a prude. I've made out with guys before. I didn't die a virgin. The reason I was so upset, was because I felt so used. I felt like everyone was controlling me, ordering me around, not caring about my feelings. I wanted to know when I would start taking control of my life, when I would become the top priority. When would I be in charge? I didn't feel like that day would ever come. _

The screen went black and the DVD stopped.

"I am fighting the urge to punch you in the face right now, Puck," Finn said through clenched teeth. Even though Rachel was dead, he still felt the need to be overprotective of her. He had promised her once to watch over her always, and that's what he planned to do, even though she was gone.

"I'm sorry," Puck cried. "I didn't know I made her so upset. I make out with girls all the time, I've never upset one of the many teases I've met so much before. I wish I knew how bad she really felt, I would've helped her. Or tried to, instead of just screwing her life up more." Everyone knew he wasn't lying, Puck had never sounded sincere, so sorry, in years. He honestly felt bad for what he did to Rachel. He looked up, his eyes glazing over. "I'm so sorry, My Hot Little Jewish American Princess."

"We all would've helped her," Tina sighed. "If only we'd known,"

They knew, no matter how much they wanted to help, no matter how much they listened, they were too late.

They would always be too late.


	9. Reason Seven

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or Thirteen Reasons Why. **

**Author's Note: 71 reviews! *makes a super creepy smiley face* YAY! So this reason was kind of hard to think of since it was the Peer Communications chapter in the book, but I finally came up with something. Enjoy! **

_Reason Seven_

Mr. Schue placed the DVD player down on the car floor and began to pull out.

"Where are we going now?" asked Brittany softly.

"Back to the choir room, it's almost nine-thirty. We're going to watch two more DVD's there, and then you'll all go home until graduation tonight."

"No!" Several people replied at once.

"Don't worry, we can finish them afterwards." Mr. Schue said. "If you want, you can all come back at three to watch a few before graduation at six. Deal?"

Everyone ultimately agreed, and Mr. Schue started back to the school.

* * *

><p>When they arrived at McKinley, the entire parking lot was deserted, no cars, no policemen, nothing. However, someone had lowered the flag on the pole, and posted a notice on the front door, describing the event that had happened the night before. No one could bear to look at it as they filed into the choir room.<p>

The New Directions members took their seats in the empty room. Brad, their piano player, had left for the day and the room was humid, someone had turned off the air conditioner, but none of them even cared enough to turn it back on. They all hurried Mr. Schue to play the DVD.

_My favorite class, and perhaps yours too, was always glee club._

So this DVD was about them!

"Finally," Quinn murmured.

But Rachel didn't look mad on the DVD, she was actually, sort of, smiling.

_Even when I felt like a complete outcast, when I wanted to scream, when life was a bitch, when __**I**__ was a bitch, Glee was my safe haven. Whenever I walked into the choir room, I felt at ease. Singing has always been second nature to me. In Glee, I could express all of my emotions and not have to hold back. I could say whatever I felt, I could sing whatever I needed to. In Glee, I was surrounded by lots of people who cared about me. Well, not all of them did. If they were all so perfect, New Directions wouldn't be on my list, now would they?_

The group looked at each other accusingly, except for Brittany, who was toying with the seam on her gray jersey tank top as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

_I don't think glee club should be cut. I really did benefit from my time there. Mr. Schuester is an amazing teacher, and although I wished he could've helped me even more, he's done enough. Glee has changed my short life and made me better. I just wish I had more things as wonderful as Glee in my lifetime, maybe than I'd still be alive._

_Not that I'm having regrets. I know I want to do…this. _

On the DVD, Rachel's smile momentarily faded.

_But anyway, back to Glee. _

_A few months ago, Mr. Schue had us each decorate a paper bag and hang it in the back of the room. He said it was for people to drop in music related comments they had for other people, like if they wanted to tell someone else that they were a little pitchy in their last solo, or hang song suggestions for so-and-so. They could sign their name, or be completely anonymous._

_And no, nobody gave me a negative comment in my bag. What really happened, was actually worse. _

_As time went on, everyone received notes in their bags. Sometimes a glee clubber would perform a song and say they had gotten it from their bag, or I would hear another person say they were going to practice harder because someone dropped them a hint that they had messed up their lyric in the number we were rehearsing. But no one gave me any notes. I didn't get a single one. _

_At first, I thought this was a little peculiar. So, I decided I would do something to get everyone's attention. A month later, when we were practicing "Don't Stop Believin", I screwed up my line on purpose. _

_And still, no one gave me a note. I waited two weeks, then three weeks. Nothing. So what did I do? Let's say, desperate times called for desperate measures. _

_I wrote myself a comment. After Glee one day I slipped it in. The next morning I ran to my bag before first period and guess what? There was no note!_

_So, who stole my notes? Who thought it would be funny to play with my self-esteem? I bet you think I'm going to expose that person, call them out in a cruel and embarrassing fashion. After all, they deserve it for being so mean to me. Right? I'm not going to fight fire with fire, and either way, I still don't know! Even if I wanted too, I couldn't. _

_To most people, this wouldn't be a big deal. So some stupid person is teasing you, taking pathetic little notes addressed to you! So what? Well, I'll tell you what. Those little notes were a boost to my confidence, they made me feel good about myself again. For a little while, the old, happy go lucky Rachel Berry was back again. But then they were taken from me, and my confidence went with it. _

Mr. Schue turned to the kids as the DVD ended. "Who did it?" He demanded. "Who stole from Rachel's bag?"

Santana squeezed Brittany's hand and looked at the floor. "The Troubletones," She said. "They wanted us to do it, but we didn't."

"Well I did," Brittany chimed in. "But I didn't know that they wanted to steal them."

Their teacher closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, sitting down at the piano. It was going to be a long day, and it wasn't even half over. They still had six DVD's to go.


	10. Reason Eight

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Author's Note: It's been a little while since I've updated, so I apologize. Here's Reason Eight. Please review!**

_Reason Eight_

"Can we stop watching these stupid DVD's?" Quinn complained. "This is freaky! We've seen ours, so we don't have to stay."

"You can go if you want, Quinn." Mr. Schue said, pointing to the door as he spoke. "No one is keeping you here."

Before Quinn could respond, Rachel's face reappeared on the screen as the next DVD began. She looked very pretty, her thick, brown hair was pulled back and when she smiled you could see her gleaming white teeth. She appeared to be sitting in the choir room, filming on a portable camcorder.

_I've always appreciated music lyrics. I found writing songs to be a good way to get out my emotions. At first I wasn't very good, you've may have heard "_Only Child" _and "_My Headband", _but as time progressed I found myself able to dig deeper into my heart and soul, write lyrics that truly reflected my deepest, darkest feelings. _

_Until one of them was stolen. _

"Oh my God," Quinn gasped.

"What is it?" Puck asked, trying to grab Quinn's hand. She yanked it away and glared before responding.

"I think I know who this is about."

_If you're in glee club…I think you'll recall this song. _

On the DVD, Rachel cleared her throat and began to sing. Sure enough, the members of New Directions had heard the song before. It had been a beautiful original song one of the glee clubbers had written, composed and performed for them a few months ago when they were writing songs for Regionals. The song had been their opener at the competition, where they had won first place easily, supposedly because of that song alone.

And it hadn't been Rachel who shown it to them.

_As I record these DVD's, I'm learning new things, not only about myself, but also about you. As I continue, I discover even deeper connections. These stories are all connected. Some I've told you, others I've kept to myself. You may have even discovered some I haven't. _

In reality, the New Directions could barely keep up with this twisted web of deceit Rachel was talking about.

_I hope that my last words on this tape will be beautiful, will move you and make you wonder what could've been. _

_I've been thinking about singing. But it's just a thought. _

The members of New Directions actually really wanted to hear Rachel sing again. They never realized how much they'd miss her amazing voice if it was to suddenly disappear, until it did.

_I really stopped writing songs when I didn't want to know myself anymore. _

_If you hear a song that makes you cry, and you don't want to cry, you just stop listening to the song. But you can never stop hearing the noise in your head. You can never avoid looking in a mirror for the rest of your life. _

_You can't stop your heart from singing, if that's what it really wants. _

_When I decided to try writing songs again, it was four months ago. Just before Regionals. I figured, not only could it make me happier, it could really help out the team. So when I found out there was a local workshop on songwriting, I decided to sign up. It was supposed to teach you to love music, to celebrate it, to cherish it. And also to love, celebrate, and cherish yourself through music. _

Rachel frowned.

_But it was nothing like that. The people there wrote lots of dark stuff, exactly what I wanted to get away from. They wrote about heartache, cheating boyfriends, cutting, abortion, and, worst of all, death. It was depressing. And my songwriting was getting worse. _

"_Let us see your deepest and your darkest!" said the middle aged woman who led the group, Mrs. Blackburn. She had seemed like such a sweet woman at first, smiley and pretty and plump, but it turns out she was an immigrant who had spent the first fifteen years of her life in the middle of a war, had been divorced twice, and lost three kids in a freak car accident. _

_Poor Mrs. Blackburn. _

Some of the kids had seen Mrs. Blackburn around town. She was almost fifty, and although she seemed innocent enough and was known for writing great songs, she was often ranting about depressing events from her "tragic and catastrophic" life. Sometimes she would burst out into songs she had made up on the spot about such "tragic and catastrophic" events.

_Nothing good came out of that group. And guess what? Someone from our school was also a member, one of the girls in glee club. I'm sure you've heard of her, she used to be quite the Miss Popular before her life was ruined by an unwanted pregnancy sophomore year. _

Quinn. She was talking about Quinn.

_Quinn Fabray. Hey Q, I bet you wonder why I'm mentioning this certain event. I mean, out of all the times you were a bitch to me, and there were a lot, why this one? You didn't do anything terribly wrong. You didn't think it was a big deal, did you?_

The song. The song Rachel had sung on the DVD, the same song Quinn had performed for the glee club before Regionals. The song was Rachel's.

_Would you like to hear the last song I wrote before quitting songwriting for good? I know you have. Hint, hint: I just sang it. _

_Yes, that song was mine. I wrote it. Not Quinn. _

_One time, after our songwriting session, Quinn and I looked at each other's lyrics. Quinn's handwriting was big and loopy, so it took me a while to read, but her songs were amazing. Every single one was good enough to be written by a professional songwriter. But hey, she's been through a lot of crap in her life, so she must have a lot of pain to express. _

_So did I, but I never really got a chance to express it myself. _

_One of my songs really interested Quinn. She asked me about it. I was vague, but she could explain to me exactly the song's meaning. I got a little defensive when she told me I wasn't talking about the world, that I was talking about myself. _

_I was defensive because Quinn was right. _

_When Quinn said she had written an original song, and I heard her utter the first lyric in Glee, I knew instantly that it was my song. Except, Quinn had changed the music so it was more pop. I had envisioned the song to be soft, sad, peaceful, not a trashy Britney Spears-like dance beat. _

_Mr. Schue then asked us what we thought Quinn had been thinking when she wrote the song. All of the kids in Glee guessed, but you were all wrong. Quinn lied through her teeth and said Noah was right, winking at him as she did, even though Noah's explanation was the farthest from the truth. It was rather vulgar, so I'd rather not repeat it. I politely raised my hand and said: "Maybe Quinn wasn't happy with herself when she wrote it."_

_Quinn gulped and turned her pretty little head towards me, her eyes glistening with tears. "Yeah…" You whispered. "Exactly. I feel that way now." _

_And then I stormed out of the room. _

_When Regionals came, Mr. Schue had me sing backup for Quinn when she sang my song, _"Soul Alone." _If just hearing Quinn steal my song and sing it in front of everyone wasn't bad enough, I had to stand in the shadows and make her look good. In the last chorus, I burst into tears and ran off the stage. I was so humiliated, I felt so betrayed. No one found me, so Santana had to sing my solo in _"Loser Like Me". _While the second song was performed I was sitting under a staircase, bawling. I emerged by the end of _"Light Up The World". _Quinn gave me an apologetic glance as I walked up the side of the stage, humming the lyrics to myself to prevent me from crying again. Afterwards, Quinn tried to talk to me, but I simply said: "Congratulations. You were amazing. That song was amazing." And the I left. Quinn never talked to me about it again. _

_I felt so mocked. _

Quinn half rose in her seat, anxious to leave, when Rachel uttered her final words on the DVD.

_Stay around Quinn, you won't believe where your name comes up again. _

Mr. Schue turned off the DVD and reached over to turn on the AC. "Go home," He ordered. "Anyone interested in watching more DVD's, come back at three. Dismissed."


	11. Reason Nine

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**Author's Note: This chapter isn't really a reason, but this is how it was in the book so I'll write it this way. Don't forget to comment! Nine more reviews and we're at a hundred!**

**Also, I've been thinking of writing a sequel to this, where, a year later, everyone finds out that Rachel's death was fake, and that she is still alive. The DVD's were merely to help them move on, and prevent themselves from hurting others like they hurt her. If I wrote it, would you read? **

_Reason Nine_

When Mr. Schue walked into the choir room, promptly at three, all of the New Directions were already seated around the room except for, of course, Mercedes and Quinn, in fresh changes of clothes. However, none of them looked like they had gotten any sleep in the few hours they'd been gone. Mr. Schue himself had taken a shower and changed into his favorite sweater vest and khakis for graduation, but had been unable to sleep at all, so bags were under his eyes. The only thing keeping him awake were the five cups of coffee he had chugged in the teacher's lounge.

"I'd say I'm happy to see you…" The teacher began, but he just trailed off there and sat down. There were still four DVD's lined up on the piano, next to folded caps and gowns for all of the seniors to wear at graduation tonight. Off in the side of the room, however, laid one of them. It was the smallest one and white, the colors all the girls were supposed to wear. On it was a sticker that read: "Rachel Berry" in the neat cursive handwriting of Principal Figgins's secretary. A diploma reading the same name had been placed on top of it, by who Mr. Schuester didn't know. Unfortunately, nobody would be there to receive the certificate or wear the gown.

After a silent minute passed, the door to the choir room opened and in staggered a disheveled Quinn Fabray, looking sloppy with her plaid pajama pants and disorganized blonde plait. She fell back into the open chair between Puck and Rory, throwing her backpack onto the floor and across the room.

"Quinn," Mr. Schue said. "We didn't expect to see you here."

"Rachel said my name was going to be on the DVD's again," the girl pointed out. "I want to know what else I did, because I honestly don't know. I couldn't sleep anyway." Quinn's pretty blonde head fell forward as she sniffed into her elbow, before looking back up with watery eyes. "I was really just jealous of Rachel," The girl confessed. "She _**seemed**_ so perfect…talented, loved, confident…but I don't feel that way anymore. I'm happy to be alive, while she's…she's…" Quinn choked on the word "dead" and so she just skipped over it. "Now I feel so bad. I never knew how awful she felt inside, she hid it so well."

"It's okay, Quinn," comforted Tina, laying a hand compassionately on Quinn's shoulder. Despite the terrible secrets they had all learned about each other today, Tina was just as sweet and helpful as ever, perhaps even more so.

"It's not okay," Quinn said with a bit of anger. "How do you guys not all hate me?"

"We could never hate you, Quinn." Mike added. "You're one of us, through thick and thin, no matter what you do."

Quinn sighed and nodded. "But can you let go of me, Tina?"

The Asian girl reluctantly retracted her hand and leaned against Mike's shoulder, letting Quinn slump against her seat in defeat.

_Reason Nine…doesn't have to do with any of you. So you can relax. _

On the DVD, Rachel appeared to be under the bleachers, where The Skanks went to go smoke everyday at three instead of heading off to after school activities. It seemed to be a sunny day, as light was pouring through the cracks in the seats and shining down on Rachel's pretty face.

_This reason…this reason is myself, because of several things. I gave up on so much…friends, family, love, and finally, life. I have given up hope, and I can never get my drive back. It is gone forever, and so I cannot help but be angry with myself, for losing hope, for giving up. _

_Sometimes I try to force myself to keep fighting, I try to change my mind, but I just can't. I have lost so much, I have hurt so many people, and I can't take it back. I can only make it worse and I'm doing forcing everyone I love to suffer with me. I want you all to be happy, I want you to forget me and the pain I caused every single one of you in life…and in death. _

None of them would ever forget Rachel. She could beg and plead for them to, but they never would. They would always remember the perky brunette with the beautiful singing voice. The choir room felt so empty without her (very loud) presence.

_Some of you I hurt more than others. People who tried to be my friends, like Tina, Kurt, Blaine, or people who tried to love me, like Finn, Jesse, Puck…even Matt. I care about all of you, even those of you who acted like you hated me. Because I know, deep down, you didn't. You never did and you never will. Hate is such a strong word, I don't hate any of you. Do you feel the same way about me?_

_There are people I will regret leaving, my dad's who treated me well for eighteen years, my friends who always stood by me, my boyfriend who I will love forever, even my mom, Shelby Corcoran, who attempted so many times to be there for me, but failed every time she tried._

_I just want you all to know that I love you. I regret hurting you in any way. You were all so loving, and I didn't deserve you._

On the DVD, tears were streaming down Rachel's face. Several people in the room, Tina, Kurt, Finn, and a few others, were on the verge of crying as well.

_I just hope that you can learn to move on without me, after my death. Please promise me not to do something…you might regret. Please. I love you. _

And then the DVD ended, and the whole room started to cry.


	12. Reason Ten

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!**

**Author's Note: Please keep reviewing! It makes my day to see all these amazing reviews. So far I've received lots of "epic" and "update soon please" but I've also gotten some "you're a genius" and "I love it!" so I want to say thanks! This is one of my favorite chapters, so enjoy!**

_Reason Ten_

DVD Number 10 started to play and the members of New Directions watched as Rachel's face flooded the screen once more. They had learned so many things about Rachel, and about each other, they had never known before, several of them were still emotional from Rachel's heartfelt apology on the last DVD. But, they sat there silently, and waited for the girl to speak.

_Hello everyone. Are we having fun yet? I know I am!_

Rachel giggled, but it didn't sound like her old laugh. It sounded malicious.

_Now, I want you all to try and remember a certain party for me. I know, there are so many parties, but I hope this one sticks out in your head, for a few of you. It was the house party at the corner of Main and Chestnut, hosted by the Cheerio's at one of their houses._

_I was surprised to be invited, and I decided to go. About halfway through my evening, after having a night that was more loud and wild than fun, I was sitting in one of the empty bedrooms, when I heard two girls approaching the room. Who were they, you ask?_

On the DVD, Rachel smiled at the camera lens, showing her teeth.

_It was Quinn and Brittany._

Quinn's face immediately went pale. Memories flooded back to her of that night, of what she did. She hadn't known Rachel was in the room, she hadn't known anything.

How she wished she could go back and undo time, undo what she did to Brittany.

_Since Brittany had used me as her chauffeur at the last party I went to, I wanted nothing to do with her. So, I hid on the floor, besides the bed. And I listened. And I waited._

_Brittany was completely smashed. Very, very intoxicated. She was ever worse than the 'girl who turns into the stripper' drunk. By that point, she was the 'about to pass out and feeling like they're dying' drunk. Although, even though it was pitch black in there, I'm pretty sure Britt had taken her shirt off and was in her bra. Then, realizing you wouldn't be leaving for awhile, I rolled across the floor in the dark room, climbed into the nearest closet and laid down on a pile of clothes_

_Brittany was completely asleep, she mumbled a little bit when Quinn asked her if she felt queasy or if she was gonna puke. Finally, Quinn said she was going to let Brittany sleep, and left the room. I heard her position herself outside the door, and Brittany roll over. I knew I couldn't leave yet, because Quinn would see me, since she was just outside in the hall. So I waited some more. About five minutes later, it got…interesting. Horrifyingly interesting._

_Quinn, I'd love to see your face right now. Aren't you scared? Aren't you terrified I'm going to tell everyone what you did? Aren't you cursing in your head, knowing I'm about to expose you?_

Quinn clenched her jaw and grabbed the hands of Puck and Rory, who were on her left and right sides respectively. Truth was, Quinn hadn't wanted to watch these DVD's because she knew she'd be on them. But she never thought Rachel knew about what happened on that night, in that room.

Obviously she did, and she was telling. She was going to tell everyone.

_So anyway, I'll just get onto it. You weren't alone for long Quinn, a certain person wanted into that room. The door opened and a little crack of light came into the closet, but I heard you close it. "Let her sleep!" you said to our mystery guest. "She'll just lie there anyway." Do you remember what he said in response, Quinn? I do. He told you he had to work the night shift, that he had to leave in a few minutes. That he just wanted a moment alone with sweet, little Brittany._

_And that's all it took for you to let him in._

All eyes were suddenly on Quinn and Brittany. Quinn's whole body was tense, her face staring at the screen, absolutely horrified. Brittany was in Santana's arms, her whole body racked by silent sobs.

"No!" She screeched. "No, please make it stop! No, no!" And on and on she cried. But no one paused the DVD. No one put an end to Brittany's misery. Not even Santana.

After all, Brittany wasn't so sweet and innocent anymore. She had already betrayed Rachel once on the list. Who knew what else Brittany had done, or what people had done to her?

_As the door opened, I rocked back and forth, the blood pounding in my ears. The music in the house was so loud, no one would've heard me. I'm surprised I even heard him at all as he slowly entered the room, I'm surprised I even heard Quinn's reluctant sigh after she had let him in. He crossed the room slowly and I heard the bedsprings creak as he laid down beside Brittany. He told her to relax. And I immediately recognized his voice._

_Hello Azimio._

The room fell silent and Brittany screamed into Santana's shoulder. Quinn started to cry and she put her hands over her ears. Everyone else merely shared confused looks.

Azimio?

_Several songs later I heard him get up and leave. After all, he was working the night shift. Right Azimio? Or was that another lie? We'll never know, because Azimio isn't getting these DVD's. I know he'd destroy them. He did rape Brittany, and he'd go crazy if he knew that we know. He wouldn't pass the DVD's on, I know he would destroy them. And I'd hate to have my keeper expose you all. _

_I ran out of that room so fast, my throat was dry and burning, my palms sweaty. I was panting and crying. And then I saw you, the girl this DVD revolves around, Miss Quinn Fabray, sitting in a fetal position on the floor of the bathroom, tears in your eyes. We looked at each other for just one moment, and then I took off down the stairs, fighting the urge to scream. That was one of the worst nights of my life, because guess what? It gets better! But you'll have to wait until my next DVD to figure out what else went wrong that night._

On the DVD, Rachel's face went from angry to somber. Puck and Rory dropped Quinn's hands and she ran to the other side of the room, to the trash can, and threw up. And then she screamed into the bin, and just stood there, as if she thought she might puke again. When she didn't, she leaned back against a wall and stuck her face in her hands. Brittany looked as if she might faint and she wrapped her arms around herself, shaking her head.

Their secrets were out.

_I could've stopped it. I could've stopped him from hurting you Brittany. But I was frozen with fear. I know it was no excuse. I should've done something. Even though you had been mean to me in the past, you didn't deserved to be raped by him. No matter what you could've done to me or anyone else, no matter how much you used me, you would never deserve it. No one ever deserves such a thing to happen to them. So why didn't I stop it? Why didn't Quinn? I can only speak for myself, but I was too scared. What about you Quinn? What's your excuse? Do you have one? _

The screen started to go black as the DVD came to a close, but the glee club heard Rachel utter four final, harsh words.

_Santana, sweetheart, you're next._

**Author's Note (again!): The next chapter is going to be even better than this one! I had the idea for it before reading Thirteen Reasons Why, and when I found out there was a chapter in the book similar to my idea, I knew I had to go for it. I'm super excited for the next chapter :) **

**Also, remember to tell me if you're interested in a sequel! I'm waiting… Thanks, you guys are THE BEST!**


	13. Reason Eleven: Part One

**Disclaimer: If I owned Glee and/or Thirteen Reasons Why, I would not be on this website. **

**Author's Note: This chapter has such a big twist, I am forced to make it a two-parter. I know, I'm so evil! You can express your hate (or love) for me in the review section. Please don't hate me though! :)**

_Reason Eleven Part One_

In an instant, Mr. Schue had crossed the room and engulfed the weeping Brittany into a hug. It was too bad no one had thought to comfort Quinn, whose body was slowly sliding towards the floor, her jaw dropped in horror. Other than that, nobody moved. They were all to shocked.

How could Quinn and Rachel have let Brittany get raped?

"Brittany," Mr. Schue was saying. "You have to get help. You too Quinn."

Brittany shook her golden towhead back and forth, yanking herself away from Mr. Schue's grasp. "I can't!" she sobbed. "It's not that easy! It's worse than you think!" And then she collapsed, sobbing, into Santana's arms, letting her girlfriend stroke her hair as she wept.

"I am so sorry, Brittany." Quinn stammered, running over to her alleged friend. Santana gave her a death glare. "It killed me to know I let that happen to you! It's been my worst secret, and I apologize for the pain I've caused you. Please forgive me, Brittany. I feel like shit…and I need to know that you're okay."

Brittany looked up with sad eyes that nearly broke Quinn's heart. "I'll think about it," She said gently. "But it won't be easy to forgive you. You know that." Then Brittany turned towards Mr. Schue with a sigh. "I will go talk to Miss Pillsbury about it…when Rachel's DVD's are over."

Knowing he would not get a better deal out of the girl, Mr. Schue agreed and walked over to retrieve the next DVD.

"Doesn't this one belong to you, Sanny?" Brittany asked the Latina.

Santana frowned. "Huh?"

"Rachel said 'Santana, sweetheart, you're next'. I don't think Rachel knew any other Santana's."

"Oh…" replied the girl, and her face fell. "Oh!"

"Didn't My Hot Jewish American Princess say this DVD took place the same night as Brittany's rape?" Puck asked. "What happened that night between you and Berry?"

Santana thought for a moment, and then this time her voice came out just above a whisper, barely audible. "Oh no."

_After witnessing Brittany's rape, I ran out of that house as fast as I could. I wiped away all of my tears and I started off down the sidewalk on Main Street, when a car pulled up. _

_That car was driven by the girl this DVD is about, Santana Lopez. _

On the DVD, Rachel's face looked serious, but she also looked like she might cry at any moment.

_Before I continue, I have a confession to make. There was something…something huge, life changing that happened to me, that happened to a bunch of us, but I never told you. And I'll tell you now, because if I don't, this story won't make any sense to you. So here I go. _

_This is going to be really hard to say. But I have to do it. I wish I'd told you all a long time ago, maybe then…this event wouldn't have happened. No, I __**know**__ this wouldn't have happened. I would've been more careful, I wouldn't have gone to a party in hopes of telling everyone the truth. I would've stayed home, and sure my life would be forever changed, but I would have something to live for now. And I guess that's better than…than wanting so badly to die, you kill yourself. _

_You may or may not know that, this year, I lost my virginity. _

"Where is this story going?" Rory asked, raising his eyebrow.

Mike shrugged. "What does this have to do with Santana?"

"Oh my God!" Brittany gasped. "Did she lose her virginity to Santana?"

Santana and Finn both looked shocked. "No!"

_Well…apparently, the condom broke. _

"Whoa," Kurt said. "Is she trying to say what I think she's trying to say?"

"I don't know," Finn answered. He looked like he might faint, but, if what Rachel was saying what they thought she was, he had every reason to be freaked out.

Tears were streaming down Rachel's face, and she had a hard time saying the next words that came out of her mouth, shocking everyone in the room.

_What I'm trying to say is…is that, I was pregnant. But because of Santana, I'm not anymore. _

The DVD suddenly paused. Santana had grabbed the remote and was holding it in her hand, her finger poised on the 'pause' button. Everyone looked at her as the remote fell to the floor, and the girl began to scream.


	14. Reason Eleven: Part Two

**Disclaimer: I do not own. **

**Author's Note: So this will be a pretty long Author's Note, I'm warning you! **

**Okay so I will attempt at writing a sequel after I finish **_**The Day The Music Died **_**(even though I'm already working on like, seven stories counting this one I really want to write one). I need to think of the title, but other than that I think I'm good for ideas as of now. And I think I'm going to make the sequel mostly Finchel, it won't be **_**entirely**_** Finchel but it will be a large part of it. Don't forget to review, I love seeing your reactions, especially to the last chapter! Thanks for taking up some of your valuable time (or, maybe not so valuable, I won't judge you) to make me a better writer. **

**Also, if you have some free time you should check out my other stories. The ones I am currently updating are a Brittana fic, **_**Weddings, Showers and Funerals, **_**which I recommend, it is inspired by Four Weddings and a Funeral (note, I said inspired, it isn't much like the movie and I added a bunch of stuff for my own pleasure). Even if Brittana isn't your thing it has undertones of Finchel, Klaine, Wemma, Quam, Tike and Pizes, there's even a little Bartie, Santfosky (did I spell that right?), and Samtana. So, please read! And for the other amazing Brittanese I wrote a one-shot, **_**The Songbird, **_**which I am very proud of. However, I will warn you that it is sad. I also have a story called **_**Some People Aren't What They Seem. **_**In it, Harmony, Rory, and Sugar are Finchel, Klaine and Brittana's kid from the future, respectively. Harmony lost her parents as an infant in a car accident, and so she uses her Aunt Brittany's time machine to go back in time so she can meet Finn and Rachel, but accidently gets them all zapped into 2011 instead of 2019. **

**Sorry for my super long Author's Note. (I wrote over 300 words in the Author's Note alone!)**

_Reason Eleven Part Two_

It seemed as if Santana would never stop screaming, until Puck walked over and shook her. "Stop it!" he growled. And Santana did. "You need to pull yourself together and tell us what you did, or at least turn the DVD back on."

Santana didn't respond to Puck's demands, instead she just turned towards a stunned Finn. "Finnocence, how could you not tell us that you got Berry _**pregnant**_?"

"Because she didn't tell me!" Finn replied, which only surprised the other people in the room more.

Rachel didn't even tell her own baby's father!

"Wait…Rachel said she _**was**_ pregnant. Not that she _**is**_ pregnant," Quinn pointed out, sounding still a little hysterical but not as sick as she was before. "Meaning, whenever she made this, she wasn't pregnant anymore. Rachel probably would've been like, seven months through her pregnancy anyway by now."

"Quinn…" Tina began. "Are you saying…are you saying you think Rachel got an abortion?"

Quinn shrugged. "Maybe."

"That's not something Rachel would do! And even if she was going to get an abortion, she would've told me or Finn or _**someone**_…" Kurt interrupted. "There's got to be another reason."

"What if Santana told her to,"

Everyone in the room turned to look at Brittany as she spoke. The girl was staring at the floor, not looking anyone in the eye. She slowly looked up at Santana after a long pause, meeting Santana's shocked, crying face. "Sanny…if you did, please tell us. We've all done things that were wrong, so please just tell us what you did. We won't judge you, and we'll love you always."

Santana brushed past Brittany and surprised everyone by wrapping her arms around Finn, sobbing into his chest. "Finn I am so sorry! I didn't know!"

"Santana, it's um...it's okay…please stop crying." Finn tried his best to soothe the emotional Latina, but to no avail.

"I _**killed**_ your _**kid**_ Finn!" Santana cried, trying to compose herself as she staggered backwards towards Brittany. "You should be more pissed at me than anyone else!"

"Santana," Mr. Schue said. "First, we need to find out what you did."

The girl nodded. "But…play the DVD." She requested. "I can't tell you guys." Santana shook her head. "If only I had known..."

"If we had all known," their teacher interrupted. "Things would be very different now." And with that, Mr. Schue reached over for the remote, and pressed 'play'.

On the DVD, Rachel was crying too.

_I am so sorry. I should've told you. It's more my fault that anyone's…but, its partially Santana's too. You see, on the night I went to that party by myself and I needed a ride home, since I hadn't told anyone to come get me before ten. So when I saw Santana's car and she offered me a ride, how could I refuse?_

_I really wish I had refused, because what I didn't know, was that Santana was drunk. _

Oh God.

_When we were driving down Green Street, Santana ran a red light. "Santana," I said. "You need to stop. We just passed a-" But before I could finish I spotted a huge SUV coming down the road, definitely past the speed limit. The driver was honking and Santana had no idea what she was doing. She turned the wheel and I frantically tried to turn us around, knocking the car into a bush. The SUV hit us full force, and I remember screaming as the entire car flipped into the air. I remember instinctively reaching for my abdomen and briefly locking eyes with a screaming Santana. Santana, did you know then about my secret, or did you think I was just nauseous? I wonder what you were thinking at that moment as I clutched my stomach and began to scream and cry. _

_I couldn't see anything through my tears. The whole world was blurry, and I lost sight of Santana through the chaos when the ambulance finally arrived. There was so much blood…I remember that much. Santana was fine, and I was generally okay…but the baby wasn't._

_I didn't even need the diagnosis. I knew I had lost it as soon as I saw how much I was bleeding. And when I was finally officially told the news, that I had miscarried, I began to gradually lose hope. _

_I didn't tell anyone about it, I didn't want to upset anyone. I know it would've done good for me to let people know why I was so upset, why I was half the person I used to be. It was because a little part of me I had learned to live with for the past four weeks was gone, and a part of me had died too. Losing a child, even one you didn't mean to have, kills you. _

Apparently, sometimes it **_literally_** kills you.

_It is worse than you could ever imagine. Even worse when you have no one to tell. _

_Finn, Dad, Daddy, Kurt, Shelby…everyone, if you're watching this, I should've told you. That kid belonged to you just as much as it did to me. You were his or hers family too. You had a right to know. If I had just told, I know I wouldn't have had a miscarriage that night with Santana in the car accident. I wouldn't have been in that car in the first place, I wouldn't have gone to that party. If I had told you, I would still have a reason to live. If you had known, I'd still be alive, or even if I did still do this, there would be a piece of me left behind. _

_And I am sorry. It's my fault, Santana didn't know. It will always be my fault. I just can't live with myself anymore. _


	15. Reason Twelve

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. I do not own Thirteen Reasons Why. **

**Author's Note: I know, I haven't updated in forever. I'm so sorry! Anyway, please review, I want to make it to 200 reviews by the end of this story. I need 45 more! **

_Reason Twelve_

The entire room was silent. No one spoke. No one moved. They hardly even breathed. It was entirely still, you could hear a pin drop. Everyone was just, in shock.

Then Santana started to cry again. "My fault," She sobbed. "My fault!"

Brittany reached over to her girlfriend, almost cradling her as she crushed Santana's face against her chest. "Sshh…" She soothed. "Sshh…"

"Finn, are you okay?" Kurt asked hesitantly. Tears were glistening in his eyes, and Blaine pulled his boyfriend into a hug.

Finn looked up. "I'll be fine," He assured them. "Just…shocked, I guess."

"We all are," Mr. Schue said, exchanging DVD eleven for DVD twelve. "We didn't know as much about Rachel as we thought." Mr. Schue sighed. "I should've helped her. I was her teacher, it was my job to guide her, make sure she was okay…"

"Mr. Schue, you said so yourself," Tina interjected. "We didn't know, and if we had known, things would be different. Rachel, and maybe even Rachel's baby," Tina glanced at Finn. "Might still be alive,"

The teacher nodded. "Right. Thanks guys. Next DVD?"

The kids nodded.

The next DVD must've been filmed right after the previous, as Rachel was in the same place, dressed in the same clothes, and tears still lingered on her face.

_Hi. Glad to see you've decided to stick around. Hopefully I didn't surprise you too much, none of you fainted right? _

_Well, anyway, reason twelve takes place the night of The Party on Maple Street. Before I left that night I took a walk, and as I passed one of the houses, I heard someone call my name. _

"_Hey! Rachel!" _

_Some girls from McKinley were waving at me from behind the fence. I smiled at them and walked over to say hi. I needed someone to cheer me up. _

"_We're relaxing in Kristy's parents' hot tub." One of them said. "They're out of town and we invited a few boys over. Want to join?" _

"_Isn't it a little cold for that?" I asked. _

"_It's inside," responded one of the girls, Kristy whose parents were apparently out of town. "We just wanted to get some stuff out of the cooler on my back porch. Come hang out with us! Please?" _

_I gave in. Kristy gave me a little yellow string bikini of hers, which was so small and made me feel super uncomfortable. But I didn't complain. _

_At first I enjoyed hanging out with them. The girls were super funny and we had a few wine coolers, then after they stumbled off to find their boyfriends, I was left alone in the hot tub. The closest people were the shadows of the people in the kitchen, who I could see faintly through the glass door separating us. _

_I leaned back and closed my eyes. I was perfectly relaxed until I was startled by the opening of the glass door. Guess who was standing there in too-tight swim trunks, eyeing me and smelling of alcohol? _

_Jacob Ben Israel, of course. _

"No way," Finn mumbled.

_I had completely forgotten super sweet Kristy and nosy, crazy Jew-Fro were cousins. _

_Jacob slipped into the hot tub, getting a little closer to me than I would've liked. "How's the hottest girl at McKinley High doing on this fine eve?" He asked, pursing his lips in a way that made him look like a Jewish duck._

"_Fine," I said, trying to be friendly. "Yourself?"_

"_Much better now," Jacob replied. _

_As time went on, Jacob got closer and closer, until he was practically in my lap. He let his hands wander a little bit and several times tried to steal a kiss. _

_The worst part is I did nothing to stop him. _

_At the time, I was gradually losing my will to live. So I let Jacob be all inappropriate, I let him whisper vulgar things to be and call me sexist nicknames. It wasn't until he had started toying with the strap on my bikini top that I jumped out of the hot tub._

"_Where are you going, sweetheart?" He questioned, slurring. _

"_You're drunk, Jacob," I said, grabbing the nearest towel and wrapping my body up in it, like a cocoon. _

"_So? Sober or not, what's the difference? Since when does the school slut care about her reputation?" _

_At that point I turned around and gazed at him furiously. "I am not the school slut." I growled. "I have pride and self-worth and I know when enough is enough. You are such a pervert, Jacob!" _

"_Oh Rachel," he sighed. "What does it matter?"_

_And then he dared to lean up, and kiss me full on the mouth. _

_His lips tasted disgusting, and I immediately pushed him off, sending him falling backwards. He hit his head and the side cracked, causing water to spill all over the floor. When Kristy came out she started screaming. _

"_Rachel, what did you do?" She gasped. "You bitch!" As soon as she said it, she regretted it. I saw it in her eyes. "Oh my God, I didn't mean it! I'm so sorry!" _

_I pulled my clothes over my head and then removed the bikini from under that, saying nothing. Kristy's eyes begged for forgiveness, but I just walked away. I wasn't mad at her, I was mad at myself. I let Jacob make my faulty reputation a real one. _

_Jacob, if you're watching this, I want to let you know that you are one of the biggest reasons as to why I killed myself. Because of you I knew I had to leave the town, I had to leave this reputation behind._

_Because of you, I knew I would rather end my life and spend an eternity in Hell, than keep living and spend forever in Lima, Ohio. Because of you, I regret nothing. _


	16. Reason Thirteen

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**Author's Note: Once again, I haven't updated in forever! I'm sorry! **

**So, this is the final reason and there will be an epilogue after this. I would love to make it to 200 reviews, so I need 28 more. Can we do it? And who's excited for **_**Glee**_** tonight?**

_Reason Thirteen_

The last DVD. This was the last one. After this, they'd have to send the DVD's onto the next person, and they'd never hear Rachel's voice, never see her face, ever again. After this last reason, she'd be gone forever.

They almost didn't want to play it, because they knew after the final DVD it would be over. But, curiosity got the best of the New Directions. Who did Rachel want to take these DVD's to Hell?

A few people gasped as the picture appeared on the screen. Rachel was standing in the school, and they could tell from what she wore and the date on the bottom of the screen, that this DVD had been filmed just the day Rachel killed herself. Yesterday.

_This is it. I am going to try one last time, to get a hold of myself. I'm going to the most honest, blunt, tell-it-like-it-is person in this school. I know this person doesn't like me much, but I know they'll tell me what they think. If they stop me, try to help me in any way, I won't kill myself. If they don't, tonight I will overdose on painkillers. If you're watching this, it means they've failed me. Here I go. _

Rachel opened up and her backpack and reached for the video camera, stuffing it inside. The screen went black and the sound of Rachel zipping in the backpack closed could be heard. Everyone was silent and you could hear someone opening a door and the sound of footsteps. Then silence.

"_What do __**you**__ want glee club girl whose name I can't remember?"_

Oh God. Sue. It was Sue.

"_Hello Miss Sylvester. And for your information, my name's Rachel. Rachel Berry."_

Rachel paused.

"_I just needed someone to talk to. And you're the most honest, frank person I know."_

"_Why thank you. Now, what is it and speak quickly because so far I've found this conversation a complete waste of my time."_

"_I've just been…not myself lately."_

"_I have noticed this school has gotten a little less annoying. But please, go on." _

"_I feel like I just want everything and everyone to stop…school, family, friends, Glee, life…"_

"_Rachel, is it? Did you just say life?" _

"_Yes I did, Miss Sylvester." _

"_That's very serious, Barbra Streisand wannabe. I frown upon people who take their own lives. It means they have no drive to live." _

"_That's just it, Miss Sylvester. My drive is gone." _

"_Well, how can we get it back?" _

"_That's it, we can't." _

A laugh.

"_Then why don't you just give up?"_

A pause.

"_I should." _

There was the sound of a chair squeaking across the floor, the camera shook as if the backpack was moving.

"_Where are you going, Will Schuester's annoying glee club star?" _

"_I think I've made up my mind. Thank you for your time." _

"_Rachel-"_

A door opening and closing. Sue's voice calling for Rachel in the background. Then the sound of feet, feet running, heavy breathing, a zipper. Rachel picked up the camera and pointed it back up at her face.

_That's it. She's letting me go. _

_I think I've made myself clear, I think I've let it be known that I don't want to live. But no one stopped me. I know some of you did care, but you just didn't care enough. That's what I needed to find out. And I did. _

_And I'm sorry._

The screen goes black, and for a moment everyone thinks that's it, until they hear a sound. A voice lifting up in the blackness, rising and rising. Rachel's voice. Her last song.

_It won't be easy, you'll think it strange_

_When I try to explain how I feel_

_That I still need your love after all that I've done_

_You won't believe me, all you will see is a girl you once knew_

_Although she's dressed up to the nines_

_At sixes and sevens with you_

I had to let it happen, I had to change

_Couldn't stay all my life down at heel_

_Looking out of the window, staying out of the sun_

_So I chose freedom, running around trying everything new_

_But nothing impressed me at all_

_I never expected it to_

Don't cry for me, Argentina

_The truth is I never left you_

_All through my wild days_

_My mad existence_

_I kept my promise, don't keep your distance_

And as for fortune, and as for fame

_I never invited them in_

_Though it seemed to the world they were all I desired_

_They are illusions, they're not the solutions they promised to be_

_The answer was here all the time_

_I love you, and hope you love me_

Don't cry for me, Argentina

Don't cry for me, Argentina

_The truth is I never left you_

_All through my wild days_

_My mad existence_

_I kept my promise, don't keep your distance_

Have I said too much?

_There's nothing more I can think of to say to you. _

_But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true.  
><em>

And then it really, truly, is over.


	17. Epilogue: The Funeral

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Thirteen Reasons Why**_** or **_**Glee **_**or **_**If I Die Young**_**. But I wish I did. **

**Author's Note: I'm so happy with the feedback from this story. Sure there have been a few haters along the way, but there is just so much positive reviews they all cancel out the bad ones. Six more reviews or so and were at 200! I'm almost sad it's over, but don't fret! The sequel, to be called **_**The Music Never Died**_**, will be out in a few months. Until then I'd love it if you checked out some of my other work. I'd love to get similar responses on them as well, but hey. If I don't, I don't. Thanks again for supporting me throughout this story! ~Jackie PS: Anybody else freak out when Finn proposed to Rachel? Anybody else think they might die if she says no? **

_Epilogue: The Funeral_

_Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother_

_She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors_

_Oh, and life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no_

_Ain't even gray, but she buries her baby_

_The sharp knife of a short life_

_Well, I've had just enough time_

Days later, the glee club was gathered outside of Lima Memorial Church for Rachel Berry's funeral. It was a cloudless day and the sun shone bright, so it almost seemed unfitting, disrespectful in a way. Despite Rachel's unpopularity in her life, the cemetery was full of people, most of the town had shown up to pay their respects. One by one every single person walked up and looked down into the open coffin, staring down at Rachel's face with her closed eyes and pale skin, that almost seemed waxy, as if it was made of plastic. People cried, people apologized, people prayed. It seemed everyone had regrets, things they wish they could've done differently.

_If I die young, bury me in satin_

_Lay me down on a bed of roses_

_Sink me in the river at dawn_

_Send me away with the words of a love song_

_The sharp knife of a short life_

_Well, I've had just enough time_

"_If I Die Young_" by The Band Perry was playing, a song that the glee club had selected themselves. The emotional lyrics seemed to make even the toughest people shed a tear for Rachel. _  
><em>

_And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom_

_I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger_

_I've never known the loving of a man_

_But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand_

_There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever_

_Who would have thought forever could be severed by_

_The sharp knife of a short life_

_Well, I've had just enough time_

_So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls_

_What I never did is done_

_A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar_

_They're worth so much more after I'm a goner_

_And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singing_

_Funny, when you're dead how people start listening_

There was something about that line that made the New Directions feel chills go up their spines. Because they knew that one lyric was absolutely true. Death really opened eyes.

_If I die young, bury me in satin_

_Lay me down on a bed of roses_

_Sink me in the river at dawn_

_Send me away with the words of a love song_

_The ballad of a dove_

_Go with peace and love_

_Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket_

_Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh  
><em>

_The sharp knife of a short life_

_Well, I've had just enough time_

_So put on your best, boys_

_And I'll wear my pearls..._

"We have to play the DVD's," Finn said suddenly.

"What? No!" Quinn gasped.

"We already sent them to Jesse St. Jackass anyway," Mercedes added. "It's not possible, Finn,"

"Yes it is," Finn paused. "When I got home the other day, there was a package waiting for me. Rachel wanted me to be the keeper of her DVD's. They're in my trunk."

A few people looked at each other, an awkward silence ensued.

"Let's do it," Tina said.

"I agree," Mike added, his arm around Tina.

"I'll help you get them," Puck gave in. "They're probably heavy,"

Finn nodded.

Mercedes shrugged. "I have been wondering what was on the rest of the DVD's," She admitted.

"Fine," Quinn sighed. "We'll play the DVD's, we'll show everyone."

After retrieving the DVD's from the trunk of Finn's car, Mr. Schue stood up. Kurt gave him the signal, a thumbs-up, and the teacher began.

"Attention, everyone." Mr. Schue said into the microphone. "We are gathered here today to honor the life of our town's little star, Rachel Berry." There was a brief moment of silence, you could've heard a pin drop. "Before her tragic fate, Rachel left behind something. A set of thirteen DVD's, explaining why she did what she did. And it has been decided, that you all deserve to know the truth. You all deserve to hear Rachel's last words, her last song, her last thoughts and feelings. Her last message to all of you." Mr. Schue gulped. "Finn?"

The boy opened the first DVD case and placed it in the player that had been set up in front of the crowd. The DVD spun around and with a whiz, it began to play. Rachel's face appeared on the big screen, and the crowd let out a cry.

_Hello. It's me, Rachel Barbra Berry. I'd say live and in video, but, if you're watching this, it means I've killed myself. So, technically I'm not alive to you._

And that's how the truth was revealed. _  
><em>


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